I awoke from another nightmare in my bed

I felt I had been struck in the head

The room grew its own eeriness

The walls oozed with darkness

Was this another dream

What does this all mean

Is it just another story unraveling for me

Why me? When did this come to be

That I would have such privilege as to carry

These untold stories in which my soul will marry

They tug at my mind

Some keep me up all night; these stories not so kind

Rarely am I an insomniac

My nightmare’s influence they do not lack

When I try to hunt them down

They hide in the ground

But when I least expect it

Ha ha! They turn around and hit

Me and stab me in the back

It seems that is their knack

These stories do the exact opposite of what is expected

These stories leave me hollow and dead

I write them down to free them

For my sanity is the thing holding them

I have to keep my sanity yet let it go

Will I lose it? I won’t ever know

But I do know one thing

I have to let these stories go before they destroy everything

Or will they destroy when let free

I can’t just leave them be

For they rip my sanity slowly to pieces

These stories never live in happiness

They live in my soul

They’re mine to control

But just to get relief

From all of their grief

I trap them on paper

And go back to read them later

These stories leave me weary and worn out

These stories that are filled with dread and doubt

They peck and bite at my heels

Attacking and eating my Achilles hell like a four course meal

My sanity again like a big juggling act

Yet my sanity isn’t something I lack

It is just something that erodes away slowly

My soul is no longer lonely

For my insanity joins to accompany it

Holding and cradling it

Then it rips it to pieces leaving it to lay

Only to come back to say

How miserable it is to have a gaping gap

Straight through his body leaving a hole dark and black

Somehow my soul is shunned by insanity

Is it because it has no company

Or is it the lack of hope

Is that the way they cope

With their disabilities. But does it balance their abilities

Or does it just throw everything into a state of shock

The line oh so thin between sanity and insanity like a big road block

This inner civil war

Bigger than any war ever made into lore

Shall it ever end

Shall I just accept it as a friend

A companion to depend on

Only the foolish give into his own sadness and let it carry on

This war creates a tide pool filled with emotions

A pool filled with sorrow and sadness; all making a commotion

With every poem comes a risk

Though some may be brisk

The risk of losing every feeling

And thus numbness is the only thing

As you lose all feeling

 You begin to see everything

 A whole new way

Past the trouble and dismay

Past the words and paper

What is soon to come later

Or what has already past

Some unseen they flew so fast

And as you try to grab on to each memory

You begin to open your eyes and see

That you have gone to the point of no return

You think to what you have learned

But suddenly you snap out of a trance

You awoke from your eery inner dance

Then you look down and you see a paper and pen

You’re in the natural world again

And you look down

And a piece of you is written down

On this paper slate

Another story from the inside you create

~ Julian Broadway